


Life and Reality

by ElizaXSpears



Category: The Evil Within (Video Game)
Genre: Horroish, M/M, Romance, Some Humor, pre game/in game/post game
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-21
Updated: 2015-01-11
Packaged: 2018-03-02 14:04:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2814659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElizaXSpears/pseuds/ElizaXSpears
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>His head throbs on occasion and Sebastian seems to be the only person he wants to trust, but even being as close as he is with Sebastian, he's not sure if such a thing as trust even exists anymore. If reality even exists anymore.</p>
<p>Note: I've re-written and edited it to make it a much better story!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. It Begins

The pain in his chest was spreading throughout his entire body. The sound of the gun shot ringing in his ears. He wanted to curl up and wait out the pain but he knew he didn’t have time to just wait it out. He cringed as he placed his palms on the ground to push himself up. His eyes scanned the playground then drifted down to the blood that seeped from the wound. Swallowing thickly, he realized he was shaking as he pressed his hand over the bullet wound, feeling the metal object shift inside him when he forced himself to his knees. “Joseph.”

Blinking through his odd blurry vision, he found Sebastian kneeling beside him, his partner’s large hand on the center of his back. “S-Seb…?”

“Damn it.” Sebastian took his hand from the wound to size it up himself. “Fuck. This is gonna need more than a syringe.”

He felt Sebastian’s hand reach to grab his bloody and gloved one, squeezing it as if to assure him everything was going to be alright. “Stay here. I’ll find somethin’ to heal you.”

“Seb, wait.” Joseph gasped, grasping his hand tightly in his. “Y-You can’t…can’t…” shaking his head, Joseph began cursing the blurriness that would abate.

“I can’t what?”

“Y-You can’t risk trying to find something for me.” He swallowed again, feeling his strength start to leave him. “Just…just go on your own and forget about me, okay?”

“No.” Sebastian grasped his other hand. “I can’t forget about you. Now shut up and save your strength.”

“Seb-”

“I said shut up.”  
Hearing such a tone in his partner’s voice, Joseph promptly closed his mouth and let his tired body rest, lying back on the ground. “You’re making a mistake.” Sebastian didn’t heart him as he was already running back to the same building he came out of. “Sebastian…” Suddenly, the ground began shaking and Joseph groaned as the quaking ground forced his body to move in odd ways, jostling the bullet once again but his pain was forgotten when he watched the ground beneath Sebastian’s feet give away and Sebastian falling through the hole with the chunks of cement. “Sebastian!” gathering his strength and pushing past the pain, he half pulled and half crawled toward the hole, the continuing shaking ground not helping.

Only when his body was forcibly slammed back to the ground did everything cease. “What can you do?” that damned voice echoed above him. “You’re useless to him when all you can do is crawl.” His glasses were plucked from his nose and tossed down the hole. “Now blind as well.” Joseph flinched when he felt something touch his cheek, but Ruvik’s hand was gentle. “I wonder how long I can play with you until you break.”

His vision now began to fade as well, his head starting to throb as that high pitched electronic sound beginning to ring in his ears. For the wounded detective, it was all too much and as his mind finally faded into darkness, he swore he heard someone call his name.


	2. Real or a Dream

His mind was reeling and he was breathing, gasping as if he had just come up from holding his breath too long underwater. His hand clutched at his chest, curling into the fabric of his shirt. What the hell happened? Where was he? His mind didn’t want to connect with reality yet but what he did notice, even without a coherent brain, he could feel no pain in his chest where the bullet should have been lodged. “…sep…h?” he heard the voice but his hearing chopped it up. “Jo…ph…?” slowly, reality came to him, the darkness fading, allowing him to see the familiar coffee shop that he and Sebastian enjoyed quite a bit. The familiar scent of coffee beans and the deserts being freshly baked… “Joseph!”

Jolting in his seat, Joseph grasped the rim of the metal table, his heart pounding in his chest. Blinking one last time to rid all the darkness, he found his eyes meeting

Sebastian’s concerned golden orbs. He didn’t often seem emotion like that in his partners eyes since the accident and it made Joseph realize he was back in his everyday life. “S…Seb?”

“Joseph?” Sebastian had his hand on Joseph’s shoulder. “You okay?”

He didn’t answer as he expected Sebastian to flicker and fade at any moment, however that didn’t happen. The world didn’t change and Sebastian remained at his side. “Seb?” he asked again. “Sebastian?”

“Yeah, I’m here.”

He opened his mouth to answer which only made him realize how hard he was breathing. Taking a deep breath, he forced his breathing to calm before he tried answering again. “W-What happened?”

“You kinda had a panic attack or somethin’.”

“…what did I do?”

“Froze up and started breathing weirdly.” He rubbed Joseph’s arm. “You okay now?”

He wanted to blurt out everything he saw to Sebastian but ruled against it, instead just nodding and offering a smile. “Yeah, I’m fine now.”

“You sure?”

“Yes.”

He could feel Sebastian was reluctant to let him go when he did but Joseph was grateful he returned to his chair across from him without any more questions. Of course, he did notice the little audience he’d gathered as people slowly turned away most likely to gossip about Joseph’s little episode. Shaking his head, Joseph wrapped his gloved hands around the cup of coffee before him, just lifting it to his lips, eager for caffeine to get him through whatever just happened when both he and Sebastian noticed a woman, the manager, come from behind the counter. “Afternoon Sebastian, Joseph.” She smiled but her focus was more on Joseph then Sebastian. “I saw what happened and I’d like to give you a free coffee to hopefully ease any pain you have.” She said with her hand on his shoulder.

“That’s not necessary.” Joseph said with a smile. “But the thought was nice, thank you.”

“Are you sure?”

“I am.”

“Alright.” She squeezed his shoulder, flashed a smile to Sebastian then returned behind the counter, speaking with one of the till workers.

“Passin’ up a free coffee? You sure you’re okay?”

“Yes.” He finally took a sip from his cup. “Anyway, what were you saying before this happened?”

Sebastian eyed him before sighing and taking a drink from his own coffee, most likely black how Sebastian normally took it. “I was askin’ what you think we should do for Connelly’s birthday. I mean, we can do nothin’ like last year but the Chief says she has connections to getting a bar for just the department.” Joseph nodded to act like he was listening but his mind was still on what had just happened. He tried adding things up in his mind but his head still hurt thus he abandoned that idea until he could get some rest, if he could knowing that he should have been dead by now. “Joseph?”

Blinking, Joseph looked up. “Ah, sorry.” He coughed into his hand, expecting blood to appear on his glove, pleased when it didn’t. “I’m not sure he’d like that. I’m sure a small party at the department would be fine.”

“Yeah, but he didn’t like the surprise party we threw last year.” He chuckled, draping his arm over the back of the chair. “You have any ideas?”

“Mm…” Joseph thought as he took another sip. “I know a restaurant that gives out free dinners for birthdays, not like that’s a big surprise.”

“Is to me.” Sebastian said. “Why haven’t I heard of this place before? I would have taken Myra there all the time.”

“It’s rather new. It opened up two years ago. I went there with my parents when they came up to visit. It’s a family place meaning there are no bars.”

“Damn…” Sebastian’s tone changed, dipping into the darker tone he normally had nowadays. “Myra would have still liked it…especially if we could have taken Lily with us…ordered her the biggest birthday cake they had.”

Joseph bowed his head feeling a guilty pain of jealously strike his heart. He hated when Sebastian would speak of Myra or Lily and he hated himself for feeling angered. They were Sebastian’s family but at the same time, they were gone. His daughter was killed, his wife. He wanted to yell at Sensation to get him to move on but he bit his tongue and kept it inside. “I’m sure they would have loved it.” Joseph assured, reaching across the table to squeeze Sebastian’s wrist.

“Yeah, they woulda.”

Once again Sebastian’s tone changed but it didn’t get lighter. It dipped into the darker repressions of his guilt and anger. “Sebastian, please, don’t think about it.”

“Kinda hard not to, Joseph.” He shook Joseph’s hand from his wrist as he stood, taking his trench coat from the back of the chair. “I’m just gonna go.”

“Alright. I’ll see you at work tomorrow?”

There was no answer as he left. Sighing Joseph folded his arms on the table and lay his head on them. He had been trying so hard to fix their friendship, especially after the A.I report but it was just his luck that just as Joseph felt like they were mending, they were thrust into the hellish world. Then again, now that Sebastian was gone, Joseph could think on what happened. His biggest question was, shouldn’t he be dead? He was bleeding rather profusely but now, he didn’t feel anything which he didn’t know if that was good or bad. He was alive but not where he should have been.

Groaning, he leaned his head up to remove his glasses, allowing him to wipe his palms over his face, trying to add everything up on his mind. Perhaps all of it was just an illusion caused by lack of sleep, a lack of sleep caused by his worry for his partner. “Are you alright? It seemed like you were about to have a heart attack.”

He nearly had one at the sudden male voice. Jolting again, Joseph scrambled to shove his glasses back on his nose to meet the face of the voice. He was a tall man, perhaps an inch shorter then Sebastian, clean shaven with raven black hair in a short wavy style, his eyes nearly too blue to be human and his skin looked far too pale to be healthy but there was an attractive vibe about him. “I’m fine.” Joseph assured. “Really. There’s no need for everyone to check up on me.”

The man’s concerned expression faded only slightly. “It’s hard not to worry when someone seizes up as you did.”

“Well, I’m fine.”

“I’m glad you’re alright then.” Clearing his throat, the man held out his hand. “Erik.” He said with charming smile.

“Joseph.” He replied, shaking the man’s hand. “Nice to meet you.”

“You too.” Erik said then nodded to the place Sebastian’ preciously sat. “May I?”

“Go ahead.”

“Thank you.” He nodded again as he took Sebastian’s spot. “So, your friend left in a hurry.” He picked up Sebastian’s cup. “Didn’t even finish his coffee.”

“He’s…just been out of it lately.”

“Family problems?”

“…sure.” Joseph sipped his coffee. “Something like that anyway.”

“I see.” Erik pushed the empty cup aside then leant back in the chair, crossing one leg over the other, folding his hands in his lap. “You don’t mind if I keep you company, do you?”

“I thought you were planning too when you asked to sit.”

He chuckled. “Ha, you’re right.” Joseph tried to casually finish his coffee but it was difficult when he could feel Erik’s eyes trailing over him. “I’ve seen you before.”

“Many people have.” Joseph answered. “My partner and I get around with our cases.”

“Detective then?”

“Yes.”

“Ah, then no wonder I’ve seen you before.”

“We often come here. It’s the only coffee place we can tolerate that doesn’t house a lot of teenagers.” He laughed softly as he shook his head. “Now I sound old.”

“You do but you don’t look like you’re over thirty.”

“I am actually. Thirty-three.”

Erik blinked. “I’m surprised. You have a youthful face.”

“I’ve been told.” He could feel the heat of his coffee through the cup, allowing it to warm his gloved hands. “What’s your occupation?”

“A doctor actually.”

“We both help people then.”

“Seems so.” Erik shifted positions, leaning his arms on the table as he studied Joseph again. “Tell me something about yourself.”

“Trust me, there’s nothing for me to tell.”

“No? I’m not sure about that. Your eyes tell me you have a lot on your mind right now and perhaps I could help you out.”

Joseph doubted anyone could help him out. “It’s nothing. Just…my mind doesn’t shut off.” He downed the rest of his coffee then checked his watch. “But I do have to get going.” He said as he stood. “It was nice to meet you Erik, but work comes early.” He gave a short wave to Erik before approaching the till to pay for his and Sebastian’s coffee. “Oh no dear.” Said one of the older women on the staff. “We insist you take this on the house.”

“I couldn’t. I’m glad to be helping out such an old and wonderful shop.” He said as he pulled out his wallet. “Here.”

The elderly woman smiled as she took the money. “You’ve always been sweet to us, Joseph.”

“I try.” He his goodbye before leaving the coffee shop, gladly leaving that man behind. There was something odd about, something that didn’t give Joseph the wrong vibe. He was just eager to get into his car and go home, hoping dinner would help ease his chaotic mind.

**X_________X**

 

With food in his stomach, Joseph turned in for the night, collapsing onto his bed with a grunt. He reached up and grabbed one of his pillows, holding it to him for the longest time with his eyes closed. When he dared to open them again, he expected the worst but he was still in his bedroom. He still held his pillow and was still relaxed on his bed. _‘It doesn’t make sense.’_ Joseph thought as he rolled over, splayed on his back. _'As much as I’m glad to be home, I shouldn’t be.’_ He knew he should be dead, he knew it, he had been shot for God’s sake. Turning his head, he eyed the bathroom door adjacent his bed. He needed to prove to himself that he was shot and this was just some dying thoughts.

He pushed himself up and entered his washroom, taking a deep breath as he slipped off his tie then the buttons of his vest then shirt before pushing the material away. Holding the breath he took, he allowed his eyes to travel toward the wound and found what he both knew and was perplexed by. There was a wound, yes, but it was scar that looked like it had been there for years. He blinked multiple times as he removed his gloves before allowing a bared hand to trace over the scar, wincing at the odd pain that was there. “Gah.” He gasped as he jabbed himself when his phone beeped. Rubbing the area he used his other hand to pull his phone from his trouser pocket. It was a text from Sebastian. _‘Sorry about leaving like that. Make it up to you tomorrow. I’ll pay for drinks, Seb.’_ Drinks, of course. Joseph shook his head, setting his phone on the counter.

Sighing, Joseph returned to the bedroom, collapsing back to the bed. He didn’t care if he was still halfway in his work uniform. He was just so mentally drained that not even the lights bothered him as he closed his eyes. Maybe when he woke up, he’d forget all about the hell he’d been through and be able to live his life normally then again, maybe this was just a dream and he’d wake up back in the hellhole of their corrupted city…or maybe he wouldn’t even wake up at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited and so much better then the last one I had up!


	3. Four Murders

Work seemed to be normal; Sebastian seemed to back in his right mind. Joseph could tell he was back to normal by the smirk that always settled on his face when they’d get a new case or the concentrated look when he was working on the files at his desk…perhaps he could ask Sebastian about the scar in his chest.

Clearing his throat, Joseph folded his hands on his desk. “Seb?” Sebastian looked up from his computer, giving his full attention to his partner. “Was I ever shot?”

“Were you shot?”

“Mm hm.” He placed his hand over the scar. “I have a mark here from a bullet.”

Sebastian blinked. “Ah, maybe before we were partners because I don’t remember.”

“Are you sure? Please just think hard about it.”

Sebastian leaned back in his office chair, crossing his arms as he did what Joseph wanted. “Ah…sorry Jojo. I really can’t remember you bein’ shot and I know I’d remember that.”

Joseph frowned. “Alright.” He returned to his computer, writing down information in his detective notebook. He could feel Sebastian’s eyes on him a moment more before the older detective went back to work.

They worked in silence, save for the typing of keyboards until a knock came to their offices door and Kidman poked her head in. “Hey you two.” While Sebastian gave her a normal greeting, Joseph had the urge to push his chair further back from her. “Is Joseph not talking?” she asked.

“I am.” Joseph said. “I…never mind.”

Kidman shrugged then approached Sebastian, peering over his shoulder. “Homicide huh?”

“Mm hm. All of them have had their throats slit.”

Kidman smirked, turning her eyes to Joseph. “Knowing your streak of bad luck, your probably going to slip in the blood and bang your head.”

Joseph frowned. “I don’t have that much bad luck.”

Sebastian’s smirk came in now. “Yeah. Yeah, you do Jo.”

Joseph muttered to himself as he looked back down at his notebook. “Anyway, Chief wanted me to pass on that we’re bringing Oscar to the Stag pub tomorrow for his birthday. You two coming?”

“Fuck yeah.” Sebastian said. “But…who’s paying for drinks?”

“Chief.”

“Then definitely going to be there.” He looked past Julie to Joseph. “You?”

“Ah…” Joseph had to think but knew he should probably go for Sebastian’s sobriety. “Sure. Why not?”

“Great.” Julie turned to go out the door. “Oh!” she turned to Joseph. “When you have a moment, someone’s here for you.”

Joseph could feel Sebastian’s eyes back on him. “Who?” he asked, not expecting anyone to pop by.

“I dunno. Said his name was Erik and he was looking for you.” She winked. “I didn’t know you had a boyfriend Joseph.”

Joseph could feel his cheeks heat tremendously. “…I…I don’t.”

“Then why’s he here?”

“I don’t know.”

“Well, you want me to send him in?”

“No, I’ll go out to meet him.”

Joseph closed up his notebook, slipping it into the pocket inside his vest. “Be back Seb.”

“…yeah.”

Joseph left the office to the front entrance where indeed Erik sat on one of the couches. When he saw Joseph he smiled and stood. “Hey.” He said.

“Hello…why are you here?”

Erik shrugged, shoving his hands into his pockets. “Well, I couldn’t get you outta my mind yesterday and you said you were a detective so I figured I’d come here.”

“…why?”

“Like I said. Couldn’t stop thinking about you so I was wondering, to make me stop thinking about you, would you want to go back to the coffee shop and have coffee with me.”

“Coffee with you?”

“Why not?”

Joseph felt strange. He was both pulled to and put off by this man, but with a few of the officers glancing at them and feeling like he was under a spot light, he gave in. “Fine. Just, meet me here later.”

“Alright.” With a wink, Erik left with a strut in his step.

Joseph rolled his eyes and meant to return to the office when he ran into Connelly. “Sorry Joseph.” The man apologized. “Wasn’t paying attention.”

“Neither was I.” he smiled. “Excited for your birthday?”

“Not really. Just reminds me how close to forty I am.”

“Close? Thirty-one isn’t that bad. Seb’s closer to forty and he won’t be happy when he gets to fifty.” Joseph chuckled.

Oscar laughed. “I don’t think any of us are going to be happy. Well, at least we have some life still in us.”

“At least.”

Joseph smiled at him then returned to the office where Sebastian was sat on his desk with two coffees. “Who’s the asshat?” Sebastian asked, passing Joseph a cup.

“Someone who I talked to last night after you left.” He took the cup with a nod. “He came by to ask me on a date…I think. He asked me to coffee after work anyway.”

“A date?”

“I suppose it is.” He sat down on his office chair. “Can you get off my desk?”

Sebastian turned around to face Joseph but still sat upon Joseph’s desk. “Let me finish my coffee first.” He said sipping from his cup with a smirk. Joseph sighed heavily. “Do you have a lead on the murderer?” Sebastian asked.

Joseph plucked out his notebook. “From the looks of things, we’re going to have to visit the sight of the murders to see what sort of tool they used.”

“Might as well go now.” Sebastian chugged the rest of his coffee as he slid off Joseph’s desk. “I’ll drive?”

“Sure.” Joseph took one last sip from his coffee before following Sebastian out to his car.

When Joseph was buckled in and Sebastian was on the road, he didn’t expect the question that came out of Sebastian’s lips. “You like this guy?”

Joseph shrugged. “I don’t know anything about him other then he’s a doctor.”

“Mm.”

“Why?”

“Well…just wanted to know. I mean, I haven’t seen you with anyone since I’ve known ya. Maybe one or two one night stands, but that’s it.”

“I just happened to want characteristics in someone that hardly anyone fills.”

“And what are these ‘characteristics?”

Joseph ignored the question. “Take a right up here.” Sebastian took the turn and before he could ask the question again, they arrived at the murder scene.

Police tape was set up as well as police cars parked around, keeping pedestrians out. “Detectives.” A police inspector came up to them.

“Arnold Brown.” Sebastian greeted. “Anything new found?”

“Not that we found, but the bodies are still in their original positions so have a good look around.” He said and nodded to Joseph.

“Will do. C’mon Jo.”

Joseph followed Sebastian, ducking under the police tape then entering the Library where the murders took place. “A place of knowledge. Fits I suppose.” Joseph mused to himself.

“How?” Sebastian asked kneeling to the first body behind the desk.

“These shelves hold books of knowledge as well as a knowledgeable killer.”

“How do you know he’s knowledgeable?”

“Well, he was able to kill these four without anyone seeing him or his weapon.” He knelt on the other side of the body, examining the wound in the woman’s neck. “From the looks of it, the weapon used wasn’t a standard knife.” He pushed up his glasses as he took out his notebook. “The wound is jagged, flesh being torn off instead of cleanly cut.”

Sebastian examined the wound. “Mm. Any ideas what could cut like this?”

“A saw maybe?”

“Saw? Who the hell carries a saw on their person?”

Joseph looked up to Sebastian. “A psychopath.”

“Good point.” Sebastian left the Librarian behind to look at the next victim. “Gender isn’t a problem.” Sebastian said.

“So the killer could be either male or female then.” Joseph said stepping to the next victim. “This should tell us these four victims had something in common with the killer.”

“Alright then. Do they have any ID or personal items on them?” Sebastian asked.

Joseph checked through pockets, pulling out the man’s wallet. “His money was left behind.”

“So was hers.” Sebastian replied. “Money wasn’t a motive then.” he stood, eying the four victims. “We should start by talking to some hardware stores close by and see if anyone purchased a saw or something like that.”

“Good idea.” Joseph agreed.

Side by side they left the Library, relaying all they found to Inspector Brown before getting back in their car and driving to the closest hardware store, Sebastian smiling just the slightest as he saw Joseph checking his notebook. “You like that thing, don’t you?”

Joseph looked up at him. “Like what?”

“That notebook.”

“Oh.” Joseph closed the black book, looking down at it. “I do. It was given to me when I was promoted and I like to keep it as sort of a milestone achievement reminder.” He slipped the notebook away. “Did you have one?”

“Used too, but Myra filled hers up so I gave her mine.” His smile faltered, but he obviously tried to keep up a happy front.

“I know you miss her Seb.” Joseph said, placing his hand on Sebastian’s shoulder. “She could come back.”

“She’s not going to, Joseph. I know she won’t.” he shrugged Joseph’s hand off his shoulder as he pulled into the department store’s parking lot. Frowning, Joseph followed Sebastian out of the car.

Upon coming to the sliding doors to enter the store, Joseph froze when he heard barking. Slowly, he turned around, seeing the large, mutated dog come charging toward them. It’s grotesque body bounding over the pavement, making holes into the ground, crushing vehicles, including their car. Joseph could see his world start to spin before he passed out right before the dog pounced on him.

XXXXX

When he woke up, his eyes met Sebastian’s, concern flittering through his partners eyes. “Jojo, you okay?” Sebastian asked as he helped him sit up.

“I…I think so.” He held a hand to his head. “What happened?”

“You passed out.” Sebastian said. “You saw the golden lab comin’ and you collapsed.

“Golden…lab?”

“Yeah.” Sebastian gestured to the dog where it sat by its two concerned owners, the dog happily wagging its tail and panting.

“We’re sorry sir.” The elderly woman said. “This store allows animals and we thought it’d be nice to take Rover here out for a bit.”

Joseph stared at the dog. “Ah, it’s fine.” He reached forward, shaking the slightest as he scratched behind the dogs flopped ears.

Sebastian breathed a sigh of relief. “Damn it Joseph. That’s the second heart attack ya gave me this week.” He said as he stood, holding his hand out for Joseph.

“Sorry Seb.” Joseph said as he took Sebastian’s hand.

“Why’d you pass out though? I’ve never seen you react like that before.”

Joseph rubbed the back of his head. “Just forget about it.”

“You sure?”

“Yes.” He turned to the elderly couple. “I’m sorry about the fuss.”

The elderly man pat Joseph’s back. “It’s alright lad. We’re sorry for giving you a fright.”

Joseph bowed his head. “It’s fine.” The elderly couple gave their last condolences before walking inside, Rover following happily along. “Anyway, we have a job to do, right?” Joseph asked.

“Yeah…”

Sebastian watched Joseph for a few seconds, noticing how he still shook slightly but ignored it and walked with his partner up to the till. “Afternoon miss.” Sebastian said to the woman. “I’m Detective Sebastian Castellanos and this is my partner, Detective Joseph Oda.” He introduced showing her his badge as Joseph always wore his attached to his person.

“Afternoon sirs.” She smiled. “Can I help you find anything?”

“We’re investigating four murders that happened yesterday evening at the Library.” Joseph said. “We were curious to see if anyone came around six to six thirty to purchase a saw or anything similar to that.”

“Mm, I wasn’t working last night, but if you come with me, I’ll let you talk to the manger. He should know.” They followed the woman to the back of the store where the manager’s office was located. “Two detectives are here sir.” She said as she knocked.

“Send them in.” a deep voice came from within.

“He’s all yours.” She smiled and left.

Sebastian stepped in first, holding the door open for his partner where they were greeted by a middle aged man sitting at a very pristine desk. “Good afternoon sir.” Joseph said.

“Detectives.” He gestured to the two chairs before the desk. “Take a seat.” They did so. “My name is William for reference.” He said. “Now, what can I do for you two?”

“Well, do you have records of who bought what yesterday evening between six and six thirty?” Joseph asked, plucking out this notebook.

“I usually have a record book of all the receipts.” William slid out his chair to step to the filing cabinet. He thumbed through the files until plucking out one and walking back to his desk, placing himself back in his chair. “Let’s see here.” It took a moment but finally handed them the records between the times they wanted.

“Did you notice anyone strange?” Sebastian asked while Joseph looked through the file.

“Strange? What sort of strange? We’ve had our share of druggies popping in every now and then.”

“Then how about someone who seemed…distant. Didn’t talk much to anyone, had a hood up, that sort of thing.”

William thought, drumming his fingers on the top of the desk. “Now that you mention it, there was a strange young man here around six-ten. He was fidgeting a lot and didn’t make eye contact. When I asked him what he was looking for to make sure he wasn’t another damn druggie, his voice was very whispery. He asked for a chainsaw and when I said we didn’t sell those, he looked a bit dejected.”

Joseph paused. “Chain…saw?” he asked.

“Mm hm. He was weird one.”

“Y-Yes. Weird.” Sebastian noticed the waver is Joseph’s voice, but chose not to say anything until they were alone. “Ah, yes. Here we are.” He said after clearing his throat. “There was a purchase made with a credit card at six-thirteen of a small grade handheld saw.” He wrote what he said in his notebook and the credit card number, before closing up the file and returning it to William. “Thank you for your time.”

Sebastian thanked him as well and they left the store. “Joseph, what the fuck is wrong with you?” Sebastian asked when they were back in the car.

“What?” Joseph looked at him. “Nothing. I’m fine.”

“Bullshit. You freak out in the coffee shop like you’re having a fuckin’ heart attack, then faint at the sight of dog then get all…edgy when William mentioned a chainsaw. What’s up with you?”

Joseph sighed. “I’ve just had a lot on mind the last two days.” He admitted. “And that’s all I’m going to tell you Seb. I don’t want you thinking I’m crazy.” He opened his notebook. “Anyway, let’s get this credit card traced.”

Sebastian frowned. “I’m not gonna think you’re crazy.”

“I bet you already do.” He offered a smile. “Just leave it Sebastian. Don’t worry about me. It’s probably from my lack of sleep-” he froze. He wasn’t supposed to mention that to Sebastian.

“Lack of sleep? Why the hell haven’t you been sleeping?”

“I…I just haven’t. My…my insomnia’s back.” He lied. If Sebastian knew he was the cause of Joseph’s sleepless nights, things wouldn’t go over to well.

“You don’t have insomnia.”

“How would you know that?”

“I’ve known you for years.” He started the car. “Cancel that date. I’m gonna make sure you sleep tonight.”

XXXXX

Sebastian kept his word when he said he’d make Joseph sleep. “Sebastian, come on, I’m not a child.” Joseph protested as Sebastian tucked him in.

“I know you’re not.” He slid Joseph’s glasses from his nose, pausing to look at them. “These look old.”

“They were my grandfathers. Myopia runs in my family apparently.” He said with a shrug.

“The only thing that runs in my family is good looks.” He joked, folding in the arms of the glasses before setting them on the nightstand. “So, need anything else?”

“No. I should be fine.”

“Good…so…mind if I crash here tonight?”

“Go ahead. Ah, if you open the closet, there should be a futon in there.”

“Ah, okay.”

“Trust me. It’s a lot nice then the couch…oh, here.” He tried getting out of bed but Sebastian halted his movements. “Seb. Let me get-”

“Nope. I think I can handle getting a mattress out of the closet.”

“Alright, just don’t pull everything out.”

“What the hell you got in there?”

“Coats, a bit of storage, things people normally put in closets.”

“God. The way you say it, makes me think you’ve got a fuckin’ city in there.”

Joseph smiled. “I don’t.”

Sebastian smirked then reached up, turning off the light. “Night then Jojo.”

“Night Sebastian.”

Joseph watched Sebastian leave the room, before closing his eyes. With Sebastian here and not out, Joseph felt like he could get some sleep until he heard a crash come from the living room. “Shit. Jojo! Your city fell out!”

Sighing, Joseph untucked himself, slipped on his glasses and padded his way to the closet in the hallway between living room and kitchen finding Sebastian on his rear covered in blankets and a box of keepsakes. “Moron.” He muttered pulling the items off his partner. “The futons right here.” He said pulling it from underneath the coats.

“I thought you’d put it up there.” He pointed to the top shelf.

“No. That’s where the extra blankets and shit go.” He folded up the quilts, putting them back onto the top shelf. “And my box of trinkets.” He knelt, picking up the items, setting them back in his box.

As he reached for a photo, Sebastian picked it up before he did. “Who’s the baby?” he asked.

Joseph flushed. “M-Me.”

Sebastian blinked eyes flicking between the photo and Joseph before a bark of laughter left him. “You? Awe, damn it Jojo. You were a fat little thing.”

Joseph snatched the photo from Sebastian’s hand. “I wasn’t fat.”

“You were a squishy baby.” He poked Joseph cheek. “But fat babies are cute babies and you’re no exception.”

Joseph quickly put the photo away and set the box back in its place on the shelf. “Just erase that image from your mind, alright?”

“Yeah, not gonna happen.” He continued to chuckle as he stood. “Phew, oh.” He wiped a tear. “I needed that. Thanks Jojo.”

“…you’re welcome.” He lifted the folded futon and entered the living room, laying it across the floor. “Here’s your bed for tonight.”

Sebastian sat down on it. “Comfy.”

“It’s supposed to be.” He turned to walk out of the room. “And you know where the extra blankets are if you get cold.” He meant to return to bed when a strangled cry of surprise escaped him as Sebastian suddenly lifted into his arms. “Seb! What the hell are you doing?! Put me down!”

“Hey, I’m just carrying you to bed.” He said as he proceeded to do just that.

Joseph stared up at Sebastian before allowing himself to indulge in the short trip, savoring Sebastian’s body against his own, but the wedding ring around Sebastian’s finger always reminded him he didn’t have a chance. “Thanks.” Joseph muttered as he was placed on his mattress.

“Yep.” Sebastian took the blankets and redid his actions he had done a few minutes before. “There. All tucked back in.”

Joseph gave him glare. “There wasn’t a need to do this.”

“For Joseph Oda to work properly, he needs sleep. I don’t want to see this fainting, jittering bullshit anymore.” He ruffled Joseph’s hair that had been pulled down earlier from its neatly combed back style.

Joseph watched Sebastian walk out the bedroom after a smile was thrown over his shoulder and the light in the hallway went out. Sighing, he rolled over, knowing that even though he would sleep, the bullshit Sebastian wanted to end would continue until Joseph understood what the hell had truly happened to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This ones longer then the first, so I hope you enjoy!


	4. Visitor

“How can you eat that stuff?”

Joseph paused in halfway biting into his morning breakfast when Sebastian broke the silence. “What stuff? Toast?”

“No. That black stuff. What is it?”

Joseph looked down at his breakfast, examining the buttered toast with bits of nori spread across it. “Nori.” He bit into the toast, swallowing it down before continuing. “I think it’s good. I used to have it every day at home in Canada and I have it every day now.”

Sebastian took the second piece of taste of Joseph’s plate and examined it. “Mind if I try a bite?”

“Go ahead.” Joseph watched Sebastian bite into the toast and thinking each chew threw until he swallowed. “Well?”

“It’s…interesting.” He set the toast back on Joseph’s plate. “Not something I’d want every day.”

“More for me then.” He smiled, biting in again.

Sebastian smirked, sipping from his coffee. “So, sleep better last night?”

“I did actually. Thank you for tucking me in.”

Sebastian tipped his invisible hat. “You’re very welcome.” His smirk only grew when Joseph rolled his eyes.

“How’d you find the futon?”

“Good. Wasn’t as bad as I thought it’d be.”

“See? I told you it was better than sleeping on the couch.” Another bite. “I’ve slept on the couch before and woke up with a knotted back.”

“You need a new couch.”

“I know.”

Sebastian stood from the kitchen table to walk to the sink, dumping his cup into it. “So, ready for work?”

“Almost.”

Sebastian stretched his arms above his head as he moved to the kitchen window. “Clouds look real grey today.”

“The forecast mentioned rain.”

“Mm. Great.”

“Could be worse. We could get snow.”

“Snow in August? Yeah, when pigs fly.”

“You’ve flown on an airplane before, right?”

“Yeah, wh-” Sebastian turned to his partner. “Thanks.”

Joseph snickered. “You’re welcome.” As Joseph to place his dishes in the sink, an unexpected knock came from his front door. “Ah, Seb? Could you get that?”

“Sure.” Joseph was sure it was just solicitors but when he heard Sebastian’s footsteps return, he heard an unexpected second pair behind him. “Jojo. You got a visitor.”

Turning off the tap, Joseph turned around, blinking when he saw Erik beside Sebastian, smiling away. “…how did you know where I live?”

“You told me.”

“…I did?”

“Mm hm.” He stepped forward, handing Joseph a coffee. “It was the same kind you bought at the coffee shop the other day.”

“Thanks…”

He looked up to Sebastian, but the older detective had already left. “Is there any chance we can talk for a bit before you head to work?”

“…sure.”

Joseph returned to his seat and Erik to the spot closest to him. “Great. Now, why didn’t you come to meet me yesterday?”

“Oh. I had Sebastian over.”

“Are you sure the two of you aren’t a thing?”

“No.” though Joseph did want that change. “But how did you know where I lived? I don’t ever remember mentioning anything about my home.”

“Well, you did.” He reached into his pocket, handing Joseph a slip of paper with his own handwriting on it. “See.”

Joseph was now at a loss. Did he really write down his address and give it to a complete stranger? This didn’t seem right and he was going to look into this and everything else the moment he got to work. “I guess I did. Sorry.”

Erik waved his hand. “It’s not a problem.” He gestured to the coffee drink.

Joseph looked down at the cardboard cup in his hand before sipping from it. It was the same coffee he had ordered in the shop. Creamy and easy to slid down his throat after exploding on his taste buds. “This was nice, thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” He reached over, rubbing Joseph’s forearm. “You have such a nice voice.”

“…thank you.” He sipped again. “Now I should really be heading to work.” He stood. “And shouldn’t you?”

“Oh, my shift doesn’t start until nine.”

“Well, mine started two minutes ago.” He pulled Erik up, ushering him out the door before closing and locking his door.

“Joseph.” Erik grabbed his bicep, halting him from going to his car. “May we have an official date tomorrow after we both come home from work?”

“…I…I suppose.”

“Wonderful. Here.” He took the paper Joseph had apparently written his address on, flipped it over and wrote his own on it. “Come to this place tomorrow night and I’ll have dinner ready for us.” Joseph’s nodded and Erik walked away.

Joseph tucked the paper into his trouser pocket before getting into his car and heading to work.

XXXXX

“Kidman, where’s Seb?” he asked when he couldn’t find Sebastian in their office or the department.

“Um, I think he said he was going back to the library.” She crossed her arms. “Why didn’t you go with him?”

“I…I just had someone who needed to talk.”

“Boyfriend?”

Joseph stepped back. “What? Boyfriend?”

“Yeah. He didn’t look happy at all when he arrived. Had that pissy vibe about him.”

“He did?”

“Yep.” She shrugged. “But I’d be pissed too if my partner was talking to his boyfriend rather then going to work.”

“He isn’t my boyfriend. He’s anything but.”

“Still.” She shrugged. “But that’s where he is.”

“Alright. Thanks.”

He left the department and drove to the library. “Seb.” He greeted when he stood beside the man. “Sorry for being late.”

“Least you came.” He muttered. “What’d the ass want to say?”

“He-”

“Asked you out?”

“I…I suppose he did.”

“Great.”

Joseph hated this tone in Sebastian’s voice. It made him feel guilty even though he was sure he shouldn’t. “Do you trust him?”

“I don’t know Jojo.” He knelt to where one of the bodies used to be. “Inspector Brown has said the four victims graduated the same university together so our killed is probably in his mid to late thirties.”

“Alright.” Joseph wrote that down in his notebook. “Any other similarities?”

“Not that they could find. So far anyway.”

“And the credit card number?”

“It’s still being checked out.”

“…Sebastian.” Joseph set his hand on Sebastian’s shoulder. “Are you angry with me?”

“Why would I be?” he looked up at Joseph. “There’s no point to be.” He stood, wiping his hands. “Anyway, let’s return to the department and contact the families of the deceased. We could get some information out of them then we can head to the Stag for Connelly’s birthday.”

“…alright.”

Joseph followed Sebastian back to the cars then following him around to the houses of the deceased, getting more information out of them until returning to the station.

Through the tears, they were able to find another similarity. All of them had taken biology and were close friends throughout the years until now. “Well, there’s something.”

Joseph said. “Perhaps the killer felt out casted by the four.”

“Maybe.” Sebastian drummed his fingers on the desk. “We still have to wait for the card number to check out. Once that’s done, we’ll have the killer.” He checked the clock. “Anyway, time to get going.”

Joseph checked the clock as well. “Seems so.” He saved his work and turned off his computer.

XXXXX

Normally, Joseph wouldn’t mind conversing with whom he worked with, getting to know everyone better and introduce himself to new recruits, but as he sat in a booth with Sebastian, Kidman and Connelly, he felt out of place, alone, unwanted. “Jojo? Hey, you didn’t answer me.”

Joseph looked up from the scotch he held in his hands to Sebastian who sat beside hm. “Sorry. What was the question?”

“I asked where you're going for your date with that Erik ass.”

“Nowhere.”

Kidman laughed. “Ooooh. Does he want you alone in his room?”

Joseph frowned. “I'm sure it's not like that.” he sipped from the glass. “But, it’s Oscar’s birthday. He deserves the attention.”

“Remind me how old I am.” Oscar chuckled.

“I said it yesterday. It’s not that old.”

“Exactly. Sebastian’s almost forty.” Kidman laughed again.

Sebastian glared at her. “With age comes wisdom, _Kid_ man.”

Her laughing ceased and she reached across the table to swat Sebastian’s shoulder. “Old man.”

Sebastian smirked but it was quick to fade when he noticed his partner’s quietness. “You oka-”

“Fine.” Joseph bit out. “I’m fine. You don’t need to ask.”

Sebastian put up his hands. “Hey, sorry. Just want to make sure.”

“I am.” he drained the rest of his scotch.

Sebastian slipped his arm around Joseph, rubbing his opposite arm. “I won’t ask anymore, okay?”

Joseph so desperately wanted to lean into the older detective, but refrained. “Thank you.”

And for most of the night, Joseph sat in silence, listening to the banter past between the three and the happy birthday’s thrown toward Oscar. He should have felt joy, at least had a smile, but the air in the bar, to him, felt incredibly thick like invisible smoke filled the air and suffocated him. He had shaken his head multiple times, trying to get the feeling to leave, but the more he moved, the more his head began to hurt, until he was forced to take one hand away from the empty scotch glass to press against his left temple. That felt a little better. The throbbing wasn’t as prominent. “Shit, Joseph.” Kidman pointed to him. “Your nose is bleeding.”

Joseph blinked as he brought his hand up to his nose, panic rising when he did indeed see blood on his fingers. “I’ll be back.” He did his best to rush and look clam at the same time as he headed to the bathroom. Looking at himself in the mirror, he could see a line of blonde stream from his nostril. “Shit.” he cursed pulling out paper towel and cleaning up the best he could. Why was this happening? His mind could only return to the time where the tried to strangle Sebastian, but that didn’t happen…it shouldn’t have happened. “Fuck it Jojo. I’m gonna ask again. Are you okay?” Sebastian now stood beside him.

“I…I should be fine Seb.” He slowly took away the paper towel, glad to see the bleeding stopped. “There, see? It stopped.”

“I’ve never seen you have nose bleeds before.”

“I…I hav-” he quickly turned his, coughing into his elbow, trying to avoid spraying Sebastian with the blood that flew from his lips. “S-Seb…” he gasped, gripping tightly to the counter to keep himself upright.

“Jo.” Sebastian grabbed Joseph’s arms, steadying him. “What the fuck is wrong with you? Come on, we should get you checked out.”

“No…I’m…I’m fine.” He swallowed, but did use his hands to clutched Sebastian’s vest. “I just need…need to sit down for a moment.”

“You coughed up blood, Joseph. That’s not normal.” He wiped a speck of blood from Joseph’s mouth with the clean part of paper towel before trashing it. “Come on. I’ll carry you if I have too.”

“…fine.” He heaved himself from Sebastian, only to stumble and barely clutch the wall for support. “…just let me stay still a moment.”

Sebastian stayed by Joseph’s side, worry over his younger partner creeping into his chest the longer Joseph stood and did nothing, but Joseph was glad Sebastian stayed by his side. Even as his vision began to fade when a coughing fit started, he was happy to have Sebastian holding him close, trying to tell him everything was going to be alright. His scar started to hurting again, like it was fresh, like he had been shot all over again. He could feel blood slip from his mouth as the black dots in his vision grew until all he was able to see was black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this turned out as well as I think it did. I may update it later if I find it needed, but I'll let you know if I do XD


	5. Dreams

He felt like he was stuck in darkness for far longer than he should have been, but when he opened his eyes he wasn’t expecting to see Erik’s face. Though it was blurred, he couldn’t mistake those eyes. “Ah, welcome back to us Mr. Oda.” Joseph felt Erik slip his glasses back onto his eyes, now being able to make out the smile on the man’s lips. “How do you feel?”

“My head aches…”

“As expected.” Erik said. “Mr. Castellanos called medical right after you collapsed.”

“Where am I?”

“In your bed.”

“What…happened to me?”

“From what Mr. Castellanos has told us, it was a simple case of having too much to drink. Your body couldn’t handle eleven scotches in one night.”

Joseph blinked. “…eleven? I…I barely had one.”

“That’s not what Mr. Castellanos told us.” Erik’s smile grew a little more. “For now, rest in bed and tomorrow you should feel fine.”

“Why does my head hurt?”

“You banged it when you collapsed.”

No. Sebastian’s arms were supporting him from doing just that. He remembered that much. “…I see.”

Erik pat his arm. “You seem to have a habit in delaying our dates, Joseph, but tomorrow you’re coming over for dinner and I won’t take no for an answer.”

Joseph lay there as he watched Erik gather his medical supplies and slip out the door. He clearly remembered only having one scotch, then again what did he remember that wasn’t a dream? Being shot, Ruvik, Sebastian falling, being bounced all over the damn place, trying to save the mental patent Leslie. Perhaps that’s what he should do. After he felt better, he was going to see if a Leslie Withers existed and if he didn’t, maybe that would answer a few of these questions. “Joseph?”

From being lost in his thoughts, Sebastian’s voice called him back to reality. “Hey Seb.”

The older man walked to him, sitting on the edge of the bed. “Didn’t I say I wanted this bullshit to end?”

“You did.” He closed his eyes. “Seb…can I ask you something?”

“Only if I can ask if you’re okay?”

Joseph bit back the scolding for asking that question again and instead answered with, “fine.”

“Good. Alright then. Shoot.”

“Leslie Withers. Does that ring any bells?”

Sebastian cocked his head. “No, why?”

“What about Ruvik?”

“Again no.”

Joseph let the frown tugging his lips form as he closed his eyes in anger. This wasn’t making his headache go away. This was all making things worse. “I don’t have anything else to ask you.”

“Alright.” Sebastian reached forward, placing the back of his hand to Joseph’s forehead. “You’re kinda warm.”

“I’m fine, Seb. Don’t worry.”

“Hard not to when you’re constantly getting hurt.” He placed his hand over Joseph’s bullet scar. “When you were shot, Jojo, I didn’t think you were going to come out of the coma you were in.”

Slowly, Joseph’s eyes opened. “…I asked you about this scar before and you said you didn’t remember anything about me being shot.”

“You never asked.”

“I…never asked?”

“Nope.” Sebastian’s smile almost gave away. “But at least that’s in the past and you’re wide awake now.” He stood, moving to the window. “You want something to eat? Soup maybe for the winter’s night.”

“Sure. Make me…winter?”

“Yeah.”

Joseph slowly pushed himself to sit up and indeed, snow was falling outside, coating everything in a thin layer of powder. He opened his mouth to ask yet another question, but decided against it. Sebastian would probably think him crazy even more so then he did. “Sure. Soup for winter. Sounds good.”

“Any special kind?”

“No.” Joseph didn’t need to watch Sebastian leave. His mind was still reeling with questions and he was just going to accept, they weren’t going to be answered today.

When Sebastian came back, he carried a bowl and sat back on the edge of the bed, handing it to Joseph. “Fair warning. It might taste like shit.”

Joseph lifted the spoon to his mouth, blew then ate the soup. “It doesn’t taste that bad actually.” He said with surprise.

“Good.” Sebastian pat his thigh. “You did scare me there Joseph.”

“…did I really have more than one scotch?”

“You did. For once, you were the one ignoring me.”

“I regret it then.”

Sebastian moved up further to put his arm around Joseph’s shoulders. “Hey, it gives me an excuse to stay here and look after you.”

“You don’t need too, Seb. You can leave.”

“Don’t want too. Besides, what if pass out again? No one would be here for you.”

“I don’t think I’m going to get out of bed.”

“It’s not good to sit in bed for a long time. Why don’t we head to the living room and use that TV of yours?”

“For what?”

“Movie or something.”

“A movie?”

“Sure, why not?”

“You know, that doesn’t sound that bad.”

“Then why don’t you get changed into something more comfortable and I be picking out a movie.”

More comfortable? Sebastian closed the door after him and Joseph guessed that was the sign to change into his pajamas. He set the soup aside and clambered out of bed, making sure to not cause any more pain to his head.

When he finished his careful job of changing, he headed to the living room with the soup and Sebastian was set on the couch with a blanket open for him. “Picked a movie.”

“Which one?” he asked sitting down, wanting to blame the red in his cheeks on the warm soup rather than the way Sebastian pulled the blanket over him.

“You’ll see.”

While they sat in silence as the movie played, the empty bowl to the side, Joseph’s eyes began to feel heavy. He was blanking out, missing half of the movie not even fully realizing he was collapsed against Sebastian’s side. He was warm and strong, fooling Joseph into a sense of security.

XXXXXX

_The pain in his chest seemed to be his wake up call. Groaning, his eyes focused themselves to see the grey sky of where he was left to die. Wincing, he pushed himself to sit up then to his knees to stand. Placing his hand over the wound, he surveyed the lad, seeing nothing but destruction of the city.With his mind finally coherent, he didn’t question what he had to do. He made his way to the hole he saw Sebastian fall into and jumped down, landing not so gracefully on his feet. Thankfully he was able to get some purchase on the ground as well as find an unconscious Sebastian. He felt amused to have finally the tables turned, but pushed the thought to make way for more important things. “Seb.”_

_He said, gently shaking the man’s shoulder. “Seb, come on. You have to wake up.” When Sebastian made signs of waking, Joseph picked up the gun that fell from Sebastian’s hands. Fully loaded with twelve rounds. Perfect. “Fuck.” The man cursed, rubbing the back of his head._

_“Hey, are you okay?” once again, the smile threatened to return. It felt nice to ask the question instead of answer it._

_“I think. Fuck, that hurt.”_

_“You fell through the ground. I’m assuming it wouldn’t be a nice fall.”_

_“I only fell because I was going to get…Joseph!”_

_He bared the pain in order to take the hug he was yanked into. “Seb?”_

_“Fuck. You’re alive.”_

_“Looks like I finally came across some good luck.” He said as he pulled back._

_“Best time to have it is now.” He pushed himself up. “Hey, can I have my gun back?”_

_Joseph returned it. “Don’t trust me?”_

_“You tried to kill yourself. Not really.”_

_“You had no problem with me handling a rifle.”_

_“Would have been easier for me to snatch it from you.” He cocked back his gun. “Well, I’m glad to have my partner by my side.” He clapped a hand on Joseph’s shoulder._

_“I’m glad to be back by your side even if I have no weapon.”_

_Sebastian studied his gun before placing the butt of it in Joseph’s hand. “Don’t put it to your head.”_

_“I won’t.” He had meant to take the lead, but Sebastian’s hand yanked him back by his wrist. “What?”_

_“Let’s see the wound.”_

_“Seb, this isn’t the time to worry about it.”_

_“We’re safe for a little bit. Let me see the damn wound.” Joseph sighed. He pocketed the gun and opened his vest and dress shirt, showing Sebastian where he was shot. To both their surprises, there didn’t seem to be a bullet and the wound itself wasn’t that big. “Here, take a syringe.” Sebastian said as he pulled one out. He took Joseph’s arm and stabbed the needle into the vein, injecting the liquid. “Give it a few minutes and you’ll be good as new.”_

_“Are you sure this stuff is safe to use?” he asked after a wince and staring at the small hole the needle had left._

_“Yeah. I’ve used it a lot and I’m fine.” He reached over his shoulder and pulled out his shotgun. “Alright. Let’s get going.”_

_“Where?” Joseph asked redoing his buttons and pulling out the gun._

_“Remember that bridge of train cars?”_

_“Would this lead us there?”_

_“We’re in a fucking Subway, Jojo. Probably will.”_

_“Good point.”_

_Joseph allowed Sebastian ahead, following after his partner while keeping a sharp eye out. He was used to helping Sebastian and was glad he could be of service instead of just having Sebastian protect him all the time. “Jo, down.” Sebastian whispered._

_Joseph obeyed and two of them crouched alongside the wall, hearing the sounds of the Haunted. “Sebastian.” Joseph gestured to Ruvik standing among them, but Sebastian shook his head._

_“A decoy. It’s not him.”_

_“Damn.”_

_Sebastian looked around them, trying to find a way to sneak around and avoid using any ammo. “We’re going to have head into the car there, but wait for my sign. There’s a fucker in there and I’ll take him out with my knife.”_

_“Alright.”_

_As Joseph waited for the sign to follow, his eyes kept trailing the decoy Ruvik in the midst of the other Haunted. Something about it was odd; then again hat was he saying? This entire world was a hellhole._   
_Catching movement, Joseph saw Sebastian wave him over and quickly darted into the car beside him. “Now what?”_

_“Follow me.”_

_Once again, Joseph did so, following Sebastian without complaint._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this ones so short. I'll try to make it up next chapter. Thanks for the support on this story!


	6. The Truth or Another Lie

_He didn’t remember much when he was traveling with Sebastian through the Haunted invested subway station. He remembered rarely taking his eyes off Sebastian but once they reached the subway car bridge, he could feel it again. The high pitched electronic sound in his head the strong urge to point the gun to his own head. “Seb…” he remembered whispering, knowing Sebastian at least trying to coax him back to sanity was something he could cling too. “Sebastian!” he cried out, the sound growing louder, his hand holding the gun trembling, but Sebastian didn’t hear him, ignored him as if he had been traveling without Joseph the entire time. He tried to call out again, but even to him, his voice sounded distant, lost among the ringing._

“Joseph?”

_The only word that broke through his scattered mind was Sebastian and dear God did he need to hear the man’s voice again. “Say it again…m-my name.”_

“Joseph.”

_Closer, it sounded closer than the ringing. That was what he needed. “Again!”_

“Joseph!”

XXXXX

Strong hands were gripping so tightly to his shoulders, hard enough to leave bruises, but when his eyes flicked open; he was back in…reality? Ah, hell, he couldn’t be sure what was real and what was fake anymore. “Thank fuck. The hell happened to you?”

Joseph’s head turned to the gruff voice, his bare fingers reaching out to touch Sebastian’s skin, running gingerly over the scuff of facial hair then up to curl into the man’s dark brown locks. “Seb…?” he felt real.

“I’m here.” Sebastian assured. “What happened?”

“What did I do?”

“You passed out halfway through the flick then started to shake then call out my name.” Sebastian’s own larger fingers crept up to take Joseph’s face into his hands. “Sacred the shit outta me.”

“I’m sorry.” He tugged Sebastian’s hair, asking the older man to lean forward a bit more. “Can I…” such a wrong time to ask such a question. He had just regained consciousness but when would he have the courage to ask again. “Can I…kiss…you?”

Sebastian frowned, taking Joseph’s hands in his. “Jojo…”

He could feel his heart shatter and the pieces fall to the pit of his stomach. Stupid. “I know…say nothing else.”

“I just…after Myra and Lily.”

“I said say nothing. I know you can’t. It was just another stupid thing I asked and did.” He pulled from Sebastian. “Why the hell did you keep me as your partner when I kept fucking everything up?”

Sebastian rubbed a hand over Joseph’s arm. “You never fucked everything up. We all stumble, right? I mean, hell, I fell into a bottle only to have you pull me out of it.”

“Still. It doesn’t make up for the times where I cost you your life because I walked right into danger.” He recalled times in the STEM. “Running over a bridge without looking for traps, nearly getting decapitated, getting tackled by that mutated dog, putting a damn gun to my head-”

“When the hell did all this happen?”

Joseph glanced at Sebastian. “It…it didn’t.” he muttered.

“Joseph…you know how you reported me to AI?”

“I couldn’t forget.”

“Well, I’m thinkin’ about putting you in Beacon.”

Joseph’s head shot up. “What? Why?”

“You’ve been acting crazy lately and maybe some time in a safe, controlled environment can help ease your mind.”

Joseph stood, angrily glaring at the older man. “I am not crazy, Sebastian. I’ve just…I don’t know if who I’m really talking to is Sebastian right now.”

“Alright, see? I’m the real Sebastian. There’s no one else like me.” Slowly Sebastian stood. “Calm down Joseph.”

“You cannot tell me to calm down when…I’m stuck deciding if this is real or not.”

“This is real.”

“How the hell do I know that? How do I know you’re not someone from my mind making me believe this is real?”

“Joseph.”

Every step Sebastian took forward, Joseph took back until he was against the wall. “Stay back Sebastian. I don’t want you near me.” He ordered, reaching for the handle of the drawer to the dresser he had in the entry way where he remembered he kept a gun though not remembering ever putting on in there. “Please, stand back.”

“Look, this _is_ crazy Joseph.”

“It’s not when you understand what I’m going through!” he pulled out the gun, cocking it back, ready to shoot Sebastian square in the head. “Now. Step. Back!”

Sebastian put up his hands, obeying Joseph’s demand. “Alright, now put the gun down.”

“No. No, I’m not putting it down until figure out if this is real or not.” He turned the gun on himself, placing the barrel to his temple like he had done before.

“Jose-” he had meant to take a step.

“Don’t come or I will shoot.”

His eyes stared into Sebastian’s, his finger stroking the trigger, entire body trembling. When he had grabbed the gun, he was certain this was what he wanted to do but now that he was in the same position he was in before, he remembered Sebastian saying how he needed his partner with him. “Don’t do it.” Sebastian said, pleaded. “Please. I know you’ve been through hell, we all have. It’s amazing we’re all alive, but we are and I don’t want you wasting that…miracle. Joseph, it’s over. We’re out of Ruvik’s control.”

Joseph’s eyes widened considerably. “You…remember?”

“Of course I remember.” He slowly took a step forward. “I couldn’t fucking forget. I don’t think any of us could.”

“But…why play stupid this entire time? Why make me think I’m the one that’s crazy?!”

“I thought it’d help ease your mind.”

“You were fucking wrong there!”

“I know and I’m sorry, but come on Joseph,” another step, “we both know this isn’t for the best.”

Joseph’s trembling increased, mind whirling. “How…how do I know this isn’t another trick? That you’re not an illusion.”

“Let me touch you.”

Joseph blinked but slowly, he lowered the gun, allowing Sebastian to walk to him and the gun to slip from his fingers. “Seb…”

Sebastian’s arms wrapped tightly around him, holding him close. “I can’t lose my partner, Joseph.” Sebastian sounded broken. “I lost my daughter, my wife. Don’t let me lose you either.”

“Sebastian.” Joseph’s arms wrapped around the older man. “I…I won’t.”

“Good.” Sebastian released the younger man. “Don’t fucking do that again.”

“I won’t if you don’t threaten to send me to Beacon.”

“Yeah, stupid thing to say, I know.” He rubbed the back of his neck the picked up the gun. “Let’s put this somewhere where you can’t get it.”

“I won’t use it. I’m not a child.”

“Still.”

Joseph shook his head, moving back to the couch, sitting down. “You do remember that hell, right?”

“I do.” Sebastian set the gun aside to sit beside Joseph. “I’m sorry for playing dumb.”

“You should be. I was beginning to think I was crazy.”

Sebastian put his hand on Joseph’s arm. “Sorry.”

“You’re forgiven I suppose.” He looked down at his pajama clad self. “I’m already dressed for it, so I think I’ll go to bed.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Feel free to crash here again if you want.”

“Alright.”

As Joseph stood to return to his bed, Sebastian caught his wrist. “What?”

“Hey, ah, I don’t want things to be awkward between us, so can we forget you asked to kiss me?”

“…what are you talking about?”

Sebastian gave him a half smile. “Thanks.”

Joseph tugged his wrist free and returned to his bedroom, collapsing onto his bed. This still didn’t feel right as in the back of his head, everything nagged at him, but he was too drained right now to care.

XXXXX

“Think of it as an apology.”

Joseph had gotten out of bed, dressed and when he entered the kitchen, he found Sebastian sitting with two freshly made plates of eggs, toast and coffee. “Why are you apologizing?” Joseph asked as he took his normal seat at the table, smiling a little when he saw Sebastian put scraps of nori on his toast.

“You know. Pretending like the hell hole wasn’t real.”

“Then you’re forgiven like I said you were last night.” He bit into his toast.

“Any nightmares?”

“I didn’t dream.”

“That’s good I guess.”

“Yeah…”

“So, you have that date with Erik tonight, don’t you?”

“Oh…I guess. I’m not sure even sure if it’s a date.”

“Probably is.” Joseph shrugged. “You interested in him?”

“No, not really.”

Sebastian sipped from his coffee. “Where’d you meet him again?”

“At the coffee shop. He took your spot when you left.”

“Ah, right.” Sebastian shifted in his seat. “Mind if I stay here again tonight?”

“Why? I don’t mind, but why?”

“Keep you company.” He smirked to his partner. “Make sure you don’t find the gun.”

Joseph’s eyes fell back to his toast. “I won’t, Seb.”

“Can’t be too careful. I mean, when’s the last time you went without hurting yourself?”

“…shut up. That has nothing to do with me finding the gun.”

“You kiddin’? You might trip and accidently shoot yourself.” The grin fell away. “And I’d hate to find you dead.”

“…you did nearly get yourself killed because of me.” Joseph muttered. “Three times.”

“Hey, we’re partners. We gotta look out for each other.”

“I was burden.”

“You saved my ass a couple times with your axe.”

“Not nearly enough times to compensate for you saving me.” He set his toast down, a feeling of melancholy washing over him. “What if the roles were reversed Seb. Wouldn’t you feel the same if I had to save you all the time?”

“I guess.”

Joseph lent back in his chair, holding both hands around the coffee cup. “It doesn’t make you feel like a good detective, like someone who should be helping the innocent. It makes you feel like the innocent in need of a hero.” He pushed up his glasses, running his fingers over the black frames. “You went back into the damn dogs den to get these.”

“You need them.” Sebastian relaxed one arm over the back of the chair.

“I should have saved you the trouble and offered myself up as a meal.”

“Don’t say that Jojo.”

“It’s true Sebastian.” He wasn’t hungry anymore, but Sebastian went through the trouble of making him breakfast so he felt he should eat. Sebastian stood from his seat but the movement hardly got Joseph to look up until Sebastian yanked back his chair and forced it to face the older man. “S-Seb?”

“I don’t want you to say anything like that ever again, alright? You’re meant to be here and you were never a burden to me outside or inside that hell hole, got it?”

“But-”

“No, Joseph, we’re partners and partners look out for each other in life and death situations.” Sebastian’s strong hands held Joseph’s arms. “Understand?”

“Yes…Sebastian.”

“Good, now eat your damn breakfast.”

To that, a small smile cracked upon Joseph’s’ face. “You sound like my mother.”

Sebastian blinked then returned Joseph’s small smile with a grin of his own. “Well, one can’t start the day without a proper breakfast.” He released Joseph. “Now, can we please let out lives get back to normal as in no more depressing shit from you?”

Joseph took a deep breath, forcing himself to believe that yes, this was real. “Alright.”

“Good.” Sebastian offered him a genuine smile.

And for once, Joseph offered a natural smile in return.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took awhile to post, but here it is! Oh! And Happy New Year!

**Author's Note:**

> Um...first chapter TEW fanfic! Yay! Heh, well, I hope this intrigues you and hope I can finish this one XD


End file.
